Wives to be treated kindly in Islam:
“Success in marriage does not merely come through finding the right partner, but rather through being the right partner.”
Quran instructs men to be nice to their wife and to treat well to the best of their ability:
“…And live with them in kindness…” (Quran 4:19)
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.’
~~ [Tirmidhi] ~~
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous khutbah on the Mount of Mercy at Arafat i (Farewell Pilgrimage).
In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:
“Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means.”
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women.
[Quran 4:34]
The Qur’an states: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may live in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; Verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Surah 30:21)
Islam commands justice and kindness towards women:
“O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to take women as heritage against (their) will. Nor should you straiten them by taking part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty
of manifest indecency. And treat them kindly. Then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.”
The Qur’an (4:19)
In the above verse, Allah tells the Muslims that they cannot treat women like slaves, but must act justly with them.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke beautiful word concerning kind treatment of one’s wife, stating that when the husband feeds his wife and puts a morsel of food in her mouth, he earns the reward of doing an act of charity. He said, “You never spend anything but you will be rewarded for it, even the morsel of food that you lift to your wife’s mouth.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6352; Muslim, 1628.
The Messenger of Allah said, “You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife’s mouth.”
SAHIH BUKHARI (Vol. 1, Book 2, Hadith 54)
The Prophet Muhammad(S) said, “Exchange gifts, as that will lead to increasing your love to one another.”
** [Bukhari] **
The husband is financially fully responsible for his wife.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said , “You are obliged to provide them with food and clothes honourably”.
( Transmitted by Abu Dawud (1905); Ibn Majah (3074))
The husband is not to stay away from his wife for long times:
Quran states :
“Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful” (4:129)
The Quran admonishes those men who oppress or ill-treat women:
“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them – except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it a great deal of good.” [Noble Quran 4:19]
Respect her family:
Never unnecessarily degrade or demean any of her relatives, by pointing out their faults or making fun of them. If someone from her family is being unreasonable, by interfering in your matters or intimidating her against you, you can intervene to stop this action.
However, always be polite and respectful to them.
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